Appreciation

Emily Stanley, 16

It hasn't really set in yet that I'm home, and that I have luxuries, and can do things I'd like, and have free time to myself. I wanted these things while we were away, but they haven't set in yet that I've got them back all the same. I'm more cautious and appreciative since coming back, and there were small changes in my mannerisms and lifestyle that I didn't expect. My diet has almost completely changed, and I don't know what exactly improvement is, but I would like to think that I've changed for "the better" since returning. But the one thing this trip really emphasized for me is: what really is better?

I stopped writing for a while, because I realized that coming back, right away anyway, I couldn't write this blog. I couldn't because I didn't know how it really and honestly affected me yet. My main priorities when returning were getting a nice shower, and seeing the people I love. That was just from being away for a while.

Now that we've been back for almost a month, I am finally starting to see exactly how this whole experience has changed me as a person.

I find myself stopping and appreciating things more, and I've realized that I have no desire to live an ostentatious lifestyle, or live off of anything but experiences and the necessities for survival. This trip, and then starting my internship, has definitely given me a lot of perspective.

I go to the Federal District Court everyday and see how they deal with people for anything from trademark disputes to bank robbery. I watch how the government goes about delivering sentences, and changing lives. I went to Costa Rica and watched people have different methods for survival, and have different ideas for what living really is.

Most people either blow up the changes they had on the trip to the most memorable experience of my life, or downsized it to something like, "It was alright, I found it pretty." Well it may not have been the most memorable experience of my life, but I can see the slow but subtle changes happening to me everyday with how I make decisions and look at the world around me.

Before we left for this trip, I was set on the idea that life is based off of hedonism. Pleasure seeking individuals walk the earth, and live for themselves. Even when they help others it's really because they either a.) get something out of it, or b.) take great pleasure in the satisfaction of helping others (but that pleasure is still theirs). But since returning, I am making more positive choices about what I do everyday of my life, and I am starting to slowly but surely change the way I look at the universe, to understand that sometimes going beyond human nature, people can really be selfless. This doesn't necessarily mean that I want to be selfless, but it does mean that I strive more towards making things in life more positive towards others along with myself, not just one or the other. I have changed the relationships I have with people, and changed the way I look at the world in general.

From a spiritual standpoint, I can't yet say how this trip has affected me, but I've realized that it definitely has made some sort of impact in how I imagine creation, and the continuance of life. I am working to be more of a deep thinker, without closing myself off to other ideas and concepts, while still being educated. Like going beyond the rules of society, while still understanding the concepts that run it. Also, like I stated above, about watching the comparisons between the country's rules, I think the thing that has impacted me, much more than I thought it would, is the reasoning behind each nation's laws; what makes one person feel that something is more correct than something else, and what makes one person's ideals better than another person's? So, by this I mean that now everyday of my life I stop and question; what is better anyway, and what makes someone think that they're worthy of deciding that?